Lifeless Employee
by xXCorporal Yaoi 911Xx
Summary: Unemployed, looking for a job, a boy found a wanted sign by chance. Cranky boss, Deidara doesn't seem pleased.How will he cope? But why when it's time to let go, he can't?
1. Go by the script

Lifeless Employee  
Summary:Unemployed,looking for a job, a boy found a wanted sign by chance.  
Cranky boss, Deidara doesn't seem pleased. But why when he needs to let go,  
he can't?  
Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto owns them.

Chapter 1: Go by the script  
"This is garbage, hmm!" Deidara yelled as he threw Naruto's manuscript to the  
floor, crudely. "But... I put all my effort into this, believe it..." Naruto  
complained. "Well, IT WASN'T YOUR BEST,HMM!" Deidara yelled with rage. He  
rotated his chair to turn his back on Naruto. "Can you show a little respect  
to us, Deidara?" Naruto asked. Silence took over the room. Deidara stood up  
and slammed his hands on his desk and looked crudely at Naruto. "What did you  
call me?" Deidara asked with sarcasm in his voice. "Uh... Deidara?" Naruto  
answered with fear in his voice. "GET OUT! YOU'RE FIRED!" Deidara yelled.  
"No! Please, Dei- I mean Sir! I have a wife and three kids and we need money!"  
Naruto pleaded. "WELL TOO BAD!" Deidara yelled, pulling Naruto's collar and  
dragged him to a vent that slides down to the garbage disposal. "No! Not that!  
Anything but that!" Naruto yelled as he struggled to get out of Deidara's grip.  
"Down. You. Go-" Deidara was cut by a knock on the door. "It's open..." Deidara  
said as he dropped Naruto to the floor, painfully. "You escape and it's off to  
the butcher's shop for you,hmm!" Deidara yelled as he pointed at Naruto who was  
practically shaking in fear on the floor. "What do you want,hmm?" Deidara asked as  
he opened the door of his office. There stood his secretary, Tobi. "HI SEN-" Tobi  
was about to say the most horrible nickname anyone can give the boss. Deidara shot  
Tobi a glare. "I mean, sir! A new employee came to me and said he found our wanted  
sign and he wants to see you in personal." Tobi said with joy in his voice. "About the sign, Tobi. Even though we hire this new kid, please don't take it down. I am gonna fire, Naruto so... we need another employee..." Deidara sighed as he walked to his rotating chair and plumped himself down. "Another one, sir? You fired Choji yesterday for adding  
5 more minutes to his break." Tobi sighed. This was the 67th employee Deidara fired.  
"I know. Just let in the new employee..." Deidara sighed, massaging his head. "Yes, sir..." Tobi said and left. "Back to your misery..." Deidara said and went to Naruto, who was still shaking. He pulled Naruto's collar and dumped him into the vent. Deidara dusted his hands and got a cigarette from his pocket. "Damn." Deidara swore. Deidara clapped his hands twice and Shikamaru came out of Deidara's closet. Shikamaru was black with ashes all over his body and clothes. Deidara got out a match box and slid the match through Shikamaru's pants. Shikamaru winced in pain at the action inflicted into him. Deidara lit his cigarette and smoked. Shikamaru stared at Deidara. Deidara turned his glance to Shikamaru. "Well? GET THE HELL BACK IN THAT CLOSET!" Deidara yelled pointing to the closet. Shikamaru scurried back into the closet. Deidara sat back into his chair. A knock on the door was heard. "It's always open,hmm..." Deidara said. The door opened and revealed a boy. He had red unkempt hair, brown eyes, and a cute face. He was short for a boy looking for a job. 'Must be a working student.' Deidara thought. "Hi! You must be Mr. Deidara!" The boy smiled at Deidara. Deidara cringed at the sight of a happy person, unlike Tobi, he has a mask. "Yes, that's me." Deidara said as he reached out his hand to shake with the boy. "And who are you?" Deidara asked as he sat on his chair. "My name is Sasori and I am 35 years old." The boy answered as he sat on the chair in front of Deidara's desk. "35!" Deidara was shocked. He was ten years older than him and it looks like he hasn't reached his growth spurt yet. "Something wrong?" Sasori asked with a questioning look on his face. "It's nothing." Deidara said. Sasori handed over his resume to Deidara. "Let's see here. Name, Sasori of the red sand. Age, 35. Hobbies, making puppets. Bio, family and blah, blah, blah and other things I don't care about..." Deidara complained and threw the resume to the trash bin. Sasori's jaw fell to the ground. Sasori pointed to his resume in the trash bin. "I worked all morning to find that... It was lost and I was panicking of where to find it and you're not even gonna care to read it!" Sasori flared with his wooden arms in the air. "That's how I am..." Deidara said with calm as he smoked. Deidara stood up. "The only important thing is that... you're hired." Deidara said as he, once again, reached out his hand to shake Sasori's hand in approval. Instead of a shake, Deidara got a hug. "THANK YOU! PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY THAT I AM NOTHING BUT A PUPPET BUT YOU...YOU ACCEPTED ME! I'LL NOT LET YOU DOWN!" Sasori yelled with joy as tears of joy fell from Sasori's eyes. Sasori tightened his grip. "GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" Deidara yelled, scraping Sasori off of him. "The thing I hate more than my job is hugs..." Deidara said, dusting himself. "I will start working tomorrow!" Sasori yelled and ran out of the room. "Well, that was taken care of."  
Deidara sighed and sat on his chair. 'That hug... his arms felt so...lifeless. Out of all my employees... I will enjoy seeing what this boy's got,hmm...' Deidara thought as a grin that never showed for 5 years spread across his face.


	2. Welcome toHELL!

Discalimer: I don't own Naruto, sadly...

Deidara: *pats me on the back* You did the right thing...  
Chapter 2: Welcome to...HELL!

"I have to give this to, sir!" An employee panicked as he carried a tray with bakudon and coffee. Sasori was passing by with many papers in hand. Both collided and fell to the ground. "NANI! I have to go back and make a new batch!" The employee whined. The employee's name was, Itachi Uchiha. He was the boss' servant in the building. He has to run all the way to the ground floor to make the boss' favorite coffee and bakudon and run all the way to the 13th floor. You might say that, "THERE'S ALWAYS AN ELEVATOR IN BUILDINGS!" well, the elevator is Deidara's only. All employees go on the stairs. "I'll help you with that..." Sasori offered. Everyone on the 13th floor gasped. "What?" Sasori questioned. "You mean you don't know. Two things. 1. Deidara- I mean sir doesn't want anyone offering anyone help or even saying the word help. 2. Sir has good hearing. He could hear you right now. So... good luck!" Pain whispered to Sasori. Then on cue, Deidara's door slammed open. "WHO THE HELL OFFERED HELP!" Deidara yelled that the whole building's windows almost shattered. Everyone pointed at Sasori. "YOU! COME INTO MY OFFICE!" Deidara shouted as he pointed to Sasori. Sasori stared at Deidara. "NOW!" Deidara yelled, pointing to the floor. Sasori walked to Deidara's office. Deidara shot Sasori a glare. Deidara's face read, HURRY-THE-HELL-UP-IDIOT. Sasori quickened his pace and finally enetered Deidara's office. "Now, WHY THE HELL DID YOU OFFER HELP!" Deidara yelled at Sasori. Deidara used his fingers to position his glasses back into place. "What's wrong with offering help?" Sasori asked, staring at his own reflection on Deidara's rimmed glasses. "Well, puppet boy. Everyone has legs and hands. They can do it themselves,hmm. If they don't use them, why the hell were they born with arms and legs if they won't even use them?" Deidara explained. Sasori stared at Deidara. "My turn to explain. Helping is making their arms and legs have a rest. The people who haven't used them much can use them to help those who haven't rested their arms and legs yet. Helping is a good deed and a good deed is it's own reward." Sasori explained. Deidara just stared at Sasori. Sasori was proud of himself because he thought his theory got into Deidara's head. "Just get back to work,hmm. Don't help anyone from now on." Deidara ordered and crossed his arms. 'WHAT! I EXPLAINED EVERYTHING TO HIM CLEARLY AND ONCE AGAIN HE THREW IT LIKE TRASH! LIKE MY RESUME!' Sasori's mind exploded but he forced a smile on his face. "Yes, sir." Sasori said and stood up and left. "He doesn't need to teach me the physics of helping, ya' know..." Deidara growled as he put his hands behind his head as he drifted off to sleep.

-3-

"So? You okay now?" Pain asked Sasori who was behind him. "SHH! Sir might hear you!" Sasori said as he took a look at Deidara's door to see if he heard. "NAH! He won't hear me. He takes a nap by this time because he says he will need energy soon when the manuscripts come in. He needs to check which is in or out." Pain explained as he made his hand support his head. " Wow. You know a lot about, Sir." Sasori awed the intelligence of his co-employee. "Pff! That's not all I know about sir." Pain showed-off. "Oh yeah! My name is Nagato! But you can call me Pain." Pain introduced himself as he shook Sasori's hand. "And, there's my angel! HI KONAN!" Pain shrieked with joy as he waved at a blue-haired woman who is a few inches away from their table. Konan just rolled her eyes. "LOVE YOU TOO!" Pain yelled at Konan. "I didn't say I loved you, loser!" Konan yelled back. "She loves me so much! She even gave me a pet name, LOSER!" Pain said with his hands on his heart. "Anyway... CHANGE OF SUBJECT!" Sasori yelled. "Hi newbie! Hope you will f***ing enjoy hell and it's devil because that's where we are today!" An employee swore as he slammed his hand on Pain's table. "Hi, my name's Hidan!" Hidan introduced himself. "Sasori." Sasori introduced himself also. "All and I mean all employees know everything about that f***ing excuse for a boss!" Hidan said to Sasori. "Give me one piece of information." Sasori challenged Hidan. "Okay, b**ch. Did you know that boss used to be a kind art teacher in prep? Bet you didn't know that!" Hidan yelled with victory. "A prep art teacher to a cranky boss? I don't believe it!" Sasori crossed his arms and pouted. Hidan looked around and took out a photo from his pocket. "I stole this one day because boss was asleep." Hidan whispered as he handed Sasori the photograph. The photo had a happy 20 year old Deidara on it. His face was smothered with paint. A bunch of prep students were hugging him. Written on the bottom of the picture was, "Me and my beloved students. I will never forget them. They loved me no matter what. Sadly, this stupid world makes people grow-up and change!". Sasori flipped the photo. A piece of paper was taped on the back. Sasori tore it off and read it. "I met a young man one day. He was one of my favorite students in prep. He loved art so much and even told me that I was his favorite teacher. His name was Bureibuhāto which meant braveheart. I said I remembered him and of course he responded answered me, 'WHO THE HELL ARE YOU! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!'. I was crushed but I told him I was his art teacher in prep. He said, 'Now I remember! That was the past old fart! I am like going out with my art teacher in 1st year highschool! You are nothing to me now!'. After that, he left me there with tears rolling down my cheeks. It tore me apart. Every time I go to prep to teach, I can't seem to smile anymore. I pictured all of my students growing up and forgetting about me. I yelled at all of them one day. I yelled out, 'YOU'RE ALL JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME! YOU'RE ALL GONNA GROW UP AND FORGET ME!'. All the kids were crying when I was yelling. I regret myself for doing that. The principal fired me so I left to change my life. One day, I helped a woman carry her stuff and her husband beat me up and thought I was in the hots for his wife. I explained that I was just helping out. He didn't listen. He yelled to me, 'People have arms and legs! They can do it themselves unless they really need help! My wife has me!'. I stayed in my house for 2 weeks straight and then it happened. I started turning the tables in my house for no reason. I tore everything that stood in my home. A bunch of men came to my house and said that I will live in a more civilized place. Yes, I have a mental problem. I suddenly do stuff that I am not suppose to do for no particular reason. I now took a job as a boss of a manga writing company. I kept my problem a secret. I don't do insane things all the time but it is often when I am home. My house have cameras from the government. My life sucks... I wish I can die right now...I want no one to know, not even my employees. I hate this world. It never gives chances." Sasori turned his gaze away from the photo. "I know... f***ing sad, right?" Hidan said with a compassionate look on his face. "HE'S AWAKE!" Pain yelled. Everyone went back into their place. Sasori hid the piece of paper into his pocket. Deidara's door slammed open. "Are you all doing your work, hmm?" Deidara asked. "YES,SIR!" Everyone responded. Deidara passed by Sasori. "Um... sir?" Sasori tapped Deidara. "Hmm?" Deidara had a questioning look on his face as he shifted his gaze to Sasori. "Can I... go to your place someday?" Sasori asked. "NEVER! YOU CAN NEVER GO TO MY HOUSE!" Deidara yelled and quickened his pace back to his office. Deidara sat on his chair and crossed his arms and plumped them to the table. He buried his face into them. 'How long will I keep this secret? I'll die soon anyway... My employees won't be able to ask me how I died because... I'm already in hell...' Deidara reflected as a tear escaped his eye


	3. If I can't got to your, go to mine!

Chapter 3: If I can't go to yours, go to mine!

"BREAK TIME!" Deidara yelled to all his employees. Deidara placed a hand on his forehead and his other on the wall to support his balance. 'Not another headache...' Deidara said in his mind. Deidara shook it off and went into his office and shut the door behind him. Sasori saw that but didn't make himself noticeable. "Spying on the boss, eh! Oh! Must be love I smell!" Hidan said with sarcasm behind Sasori. "I'm just worried..." Sasori sighed. "Have you even seen his illness go into action?" Hidan asked with a huge grin on his face. "Oh no, Hidan! I know that look. Its the, I-HAVE-A-DEVILISHLY-F***ING-AWESOME-IDEA look." Pain warned. "If you do want... I have a video tape from the government." Hidan said waving a video tape in front of Sasori. "I DO!" A chibified Sasori yelled with glee. "Oh shoot..." Pain face-palmed. "Follow me!" Hidan gestured them to follow him. The trio went into a media room that was in the building for 5 placed the tape in and played it. The video flickered. Then it was finally clear. Deidara was in a room with nothing in it. 'How the hell does he live with nothing inside his house?'Sasori wondered. Deidara just sat there for minutes till...it happened. Deidara first yelled very loud. Then he ran to the wall and slammed his head against it countless of times. Then he pulled his hair and slammed his head to the floor. Then a voice was heard,"Throw the chair.". A chair flew to Deidara. Deidara caught it and yelled as he threw the chair to the wall. "Throw the pillow." A voice ordered. A pillow flew to Deidara. Deidara shredded it and pulled out the feathers while screaming. "Were done with the research. Do it." A voice said. A laser beamed and hit Deidara. Deidara cringed and winced as the electric beam spread through out his body. It stopped and Deidara fell to the floor. "You're free to go." A voice said. The empty room shifted and transformed into a bedroom. Deidara finally regained consciousness and jolted awake. He looked around and took his glasses and placed them back to place. Before he can do anything else, he cried silently on his bed. The video ended. "See that! They are f***ing using him... LIKE HE IS USING US!" Hidan yelled. Sasori was too shocked to listen to Hidan. "When was this taken?" Sasori finally spoke up. "Saturday. They don't do research on him on weekdays because he is here working." Pain answered. The trio left the room. "I pity him..." Sasori said as he sipped his capuccino from starbucks. "But does he pity us? NEVER IN HELL!" Hidan yelled and bit into his muffin. (YAY! MUFFIN! ^.^) Sasori saw Deidara on a table a few meters away, alone. "You guys, stay here. I'll be back..." Sasori said standing up. "Sure! We'll wait for you!" Pain said. Sasori walked to Deidara. Deidara's elbow was on the table and his hand was supporting his head. His other hand was holding a fork. Deidara was chewing on his Bakudon. Deidara's eyes looked up and saw Sasori standing in front of him. He was so shocked that he choked on his Bakudon. "SIR!" Sasori yelled and grabbed Deidara's waist and pushed his abdomen. He did countless of times and finally, the Bakudon flew across the room and into the trash bin. "TEN POINTS!"Both Hidan and Pain yelled with signs with the number ten written on them. "You okay?" Sasori asked. "I should have been until you suddenly appeared in front of me. There's this thing called GREETING! Look it up, hmm!" Deidara yelled. Silence. "But... thanks." Deidara blushed. Sasori had a shocked look on his face. "What? Never heard me say thank you before? I maybe a temperamental boss but I still I have manners!" Deidara pouted. "Can I eat with you?" Sasori asked. "Yeah. Just stay away from me, hmm." Deidara said. Sasori sat beside Deidara. Sasori slid closer to Deidara. Deidara scooted away a bit. Sasori got closer. Deidara went farther. Close. Far. Close. Far. Close. Far. Close. THUD! Deidara slid too much and the chair was limited so he fell down. "Sorry! I just couldn't stay far away from you." Sasori laughed , helping Deidara up. Deidara stared at Sasori. "It's almost the end of the break, hmm. Get ready to get back to work." Deidara almost left but Sasori tapped his shoulder. Deidara turned to Sasori. "Can you go to my place on Saturday? I want to invite you there to thank you for accepting me to work here." Sasori invited Deidara. Deidara thought for a while. 'The research will be done on Saturday. This is my escape.' Deidara thought. "Sure. Why not?" Deidara said. Deidara left. 'What do I feel right now? I can't determine it. Wait. Now I know. It's love. Yes, I am in love with my cranky boss...' Sasori thought and had a smile on his face as he walked back to Pain and Hidan.

-3-

"So, this is your place?" Deidara asked as he entered Sasori's home. It was not that fancy or not that poor. "Yeah. Want some tea?" Sasori asked. "YEAH SERVANT!" Deidara yelled as if they were still in the manga writing building. Sasori left and went to make some tea. Deidara looked at picture frames that stood on top of the fireplace. It had pictures of Sasori and his parents. "You had a loving family, eh?" Deidara asked. "Yeah. They died 8 years ago." Sasori said from the kitchen. After drinking the tea, both talked with each other. "What about your family? What were they like?" Sasori asked. "NOTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW, BAKA!" Deidara yelled as he pulled out a cigarette and a match box. He slid the match across Sasori's pants. "OW!" Sasori yelled. Deidara lit his cigarette. "Problem?" Deidara asked with one brow up. "Nothing..." Sasori said. Silence. "Well, I better get going..." Deidara said standing up. "NO DON'T LEAVE!" Sasori yelled. Deidara looked shocked at Sasori's words. "Why shouldn't I?" Deidara asked with sarcasm. "Because... I don't want you to get hurt..." Sasori whispered. Deidara fell silent. "How could I get hurt, hmm?" Deidara asked with a small tremble in his voice. By getting crazy and insane and being researched on and everything any person can't handle! How do you handle that kind of pain, Deidara! HOW! "By... THE FRONT PORCH! It is a little too high you might trip!" Sasori could have just told the truth but he didn't want to die young. He had still a lot of plans in life. "Uh..." Deidara's left eye twitched. The front porch was one inch tall. How the hell will someone trip? "I can do it myself... MAKE SURE YOU GET TO WORK ON TIME ON MONDAY!" Deidara yelled and left. To Sasori's point of view, Deidara was slowly fading away. 'Just promise me, don't get hurt...' Sasori thought as he held Deidara's scarf he left in a tight grip.


	4. Only one

Chapter 4: Only one  
"It's snowing again..." Deidara sighed. Deidara stared at the sky. Deidara was outside instead of staying in his awful prison that he calls a home. He was off to the supermarket to buy some things he needs. As Deidara stared at the snowflakes that fell from the sky, a ball of snow hit his face. Deidara turned to see the source of the backfire. "YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE, SENPAI!" Tobi laughed as he rolled on the snow floor in laughter. "DAMN YOU!" Deidara yelled with his fist up. "Bet you can't do that, Senpai!" Tobi yelled wiping a tear. "GET BACK HERE!" Deidara growled as he fixed his glasses. He took some snow and squeezed it between his palms and threw it with his full strength. "Bet you can't! Bet you can't! Bet you can't- Oh mother..." Tobi was hit with the snowball and was blown hard backwards. "HA! You should have seen your face! BET YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Deidara yelled while laughing. Tobi stood up and dusted the snow off. "Come on, Tobi." Deidara called the orange pumpkin's name. Tobi skipped happily to Deidara. "Tell me, Tobi. Why you?" Deidara asked as they walked down the pathway. "I don't understand..." Tobi said as he kicked a pebble. "Why are you the one I chose to keep my secret?" Deidara asked. Because... I love you! "Because! I take care of you when you call me to help you!" Tobi replied. 'I could have just told him the truth.' Tobi thought. "No need to get all lovey dovey, hmm!" Deidara said. "I only call you because... you're my best friend." Deidara said as he wiped his glasses with a hanky. "I've been friends with you since 1st year high school." Tobi said. Yes, Tobi and Deidara have been friends ever since high school. When Deidara wasn't brave enough to talk to anyone , Tobi was there.  
-Flashback-  
Everyone passed by the blonde teen who sat on the same bench, everyday. He wasn't brave or has the courage to speak up because of his illness. He always thought he might hurt someone. The name of this teen was, Deidara. Deidara just stayed there with his sketch pad, doodling pictures that were beautiful. "That's a nice drawing!" A voice from behind Deidara commented. Deidara jumped in shock. He turned and was face to face with an orange mask. "Hi! My name is Tobi and Tobi is a good boy!" The boy with a masked introduced himself. "My... name is... Deidara..." Deidara introduced himself quietly. "Why do you stay here, everyday?" Tobi asked as he sat on the bench. "Can... you keep... a secret?" Deidara stammered. "Yes! Tobi is a good secret keeper!" Tobi yelled happily. Deidara whispered to Tobi, "I have an illness in the brain, a mental disease." . "Really?" Tobi asked. Deidara nodded lightly. Before Deidara could leave, Tobi pulled Deidara into an embrace. "I will be your best friend so that whenever you need help, I'll be there for you." Tobi said as he hugged Deidara tighter. Deidara's eyes started to become shiny. Deidara closed his eyes shut and the tears fell down his cheeks as he cried on Tobi's chest. Deidara tightened his grip on Tobi's uniform. "I'll be your shoulder when you cry, I promise you, Deidara... I will protect you." Tobi whispered.  
-the next day-  
"Open wide!" Tobi ordered Deidara. Deidara opened his mouth and Tobi placed the spoon filled with porridge into Deidara's mouth. 'Everyone stares at us. But what do me and Deidara care! We are best friends and best friends help each other!' Tobi said in his mind. "More!" Deidara said with a smile as he chewed the porridge. "Open up!" Tobi said and placed the spoon into Deidara's mouth. Deidara chewed with a smile on his face. "How can I thank you, Tobi?" Deidara asked. "Your smile is enough..." Tobi said and wiped the porridge on Deidara mouth. Deidara had tears in his eyes. "Did I do something?" Tobi panicked. "NO ONE TOOK CARE OF ME LIKE YOU DID, TOBI! You are the best friend anyone can have!" Deidara yelled as he hugged Tobi with tears falling down his cheeks. Tobi's heart was pounding loudly in his chest. 'I'm in love with you, Deidara.' Tobi whispered in his mind as he stroked Deidara's hair as he cried on his chest. 'If only it was that easy.' Tobi said.  
-End flashback-  
"Were here!" Deidara yelled. Tobi shook his head to stop thinking about the past. Both of them entered the grocery store. And both are getting a big suprise when they enter...

-3-

"Why the hell are we f***ing here?" Hidan asked impatiently. The trio was in the grocery store. "I need to work on a new puppet. I need a few materials. Oh, thanks for coming with me guys!" Sasori said. "No prob!" Pain said. The grocery doors slid open. Two civilians entered. "I got what I needed! I'm gonna go pay for them!" Sasori said. Hidan's face was in shock. "What's with you?" Sasori asked looking at Hidan and not looking at where he was going. Hidan pointed furiously at the front of Sasori. "What? There is no one..." Sasori was cut mid-sentence because he collided with someone. "WATCH THE HELL YOU ARE GOING, BAKA!" A familiar voice yelled with rage. Sasori looked at who he collided with. "SIR!" Sasori yelled with a questioning and shocking sound mixed in his voice. "PUPPET BOY!" Deidara yelled. "BOSS!" Hidan and Pain yelled. "PAIN AND HIDAN!" Deidara yelled. "TOBI!" Tobi yelled out his name with glee. "What are you doing here?" Deidara asked, dusting himself. "I should be asking you." Sasori smiled. "Why is Tobi here?" Hidan asked. "It's better I tell you guys. Just keep it a secret. Tobi and me were best friends since high school until now." Deidara explained. "Lucky bastard..." Hidan muttered under his breath. "What did you say, Hidan, hmm?" Deidara asked. "Nothing." Hidan answered. "We were gonna just buy stuff we need." Deidara said. "Oh! We were just going to go." Sasori said. "Well, you better get going then." Deidara said and got a basket. "Yeah. Sorry for bumping into you." Sasori apologized. "NO NEED TO F***ING APOLOGIZE! JUST GO!" Deidara yelled. The trio was too afraid to say anything so they immediately paid and left. "Tobi is a f***ing lucky bastard!" Hidan yelled pulling his hair. "Hidan, You don't know but... I think Tobi likes boss..." Pain stated his theory.  
Sasori stopped in his tracks.  
Pain's statement replayed in his mind. ' I think Tobi likes boss...'. 'What if he does? This means I have a competition. I wonder...who will win Deidara's heart?' Sasori wondered as he started walking with a grin plastered over his face


	5. 3 words WHAT THE HELL?

Chapter 5: 3 words. WHAT. THE. HELL!  
" Get back to work, slaves!" Deidara yelled as he walked passed everyone's desks. "He's so cute! His booming voice sounds adorable! Under that cold exterior of his is a shy and cute person just waiting for someone to find him. And that's me!" Sasori whispered as Deidara passed by him. "HI,SIR!" A familiar voice yelled happily. Sasori's imaginary lovey dovey background shattered. "Tobi..." Sasori growled as he gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes at the happy teen. "Ah,Tobi! What is it you want,hmm?" Deidara asked. "There's a call for you on the ground floor." Tobi reported. "I will go down stairs and take care of the matter!" Deidara said and left. Tobi was about to leave but an arm stopped him. "You think I am dumb enough to play your happy-go-lucky games,eh? I am not that kind of guy! I know you like boss! I can see it in your eyes! I mean... eye." Sasori stated. "I am not playing such games, newbie. I don't need to because... I WILL win Deidara's heart!" Tobi yelled at Sasori's face. "We will see! And one thing... IF BOSS LOVES ME, AT LEAST HE WILL LOVE SOMEONE WITH A FACE!" Sasori yelled in victory as he left Tobi stunned. "That's my boy!" Hidan yelled as he noogied Sasori. 'This war isn't over,Tobi. In fact, it only has begun!' Sasori smiled an evil grin as he thought of this.

Deidara love war starts now!

Tobi's points- 0 Sasori's points- 0  
Knocking was heard while Deidara was asleep. Deidara grudgingly woke up and put back his glasses on and went for the door. "What is it you want?" Deidara crudely asked as he opened the door. A bunch of flowers were at the foot of Deidara's office. Deidara looked around questionly and picked up the flowers. "He just needs to put it in a vase and put it by his table then I get a point!" Tobi yelled with joy and ran outside.  
"There! Beautiful like art,hmm!" Deidara smiled and sat on his chair and stared at the beautiness of the flowers he arranged. Deidara didn't notice that Tobi was outside Deidara's window disguised as a window cleaner. "YES!" Tobi yelled at the sight of his flowers arranged at Deidara's table.  
Tobi's points- 1 Sasori's points- 0  
Deidara was walking to his lunch table and found cake on top of his table. "What the hell?" Deidara questioned as he picked up the note beside the cake. The note read, 'To the most cutest blonde boy I have ever seen!'. "I don't really care about the note but thanks to whoever sent me the cake! I love blackforest,hmm!" Deidara happily as he dug into his cake. Sasori was secretly jumping with joy. "One point for me,pumpkin!" Sasori whispered as he thought for his next strategy.  
Tobi's points- 1 Sasori's points- 1  
"My back hurts like hell! I need a massage,hmm!" Deidara yelled. Tobi immediately ran to Deidara and gave him a massage. Deidara closed his eyes as he relaxed. Sasori threw a pen at Tobi making him fall backwards to the floor. Sasori ran to replace Tobi and massaged Deidara. "That feels gooooood..." Deidara whined as he felt like sleeping. Tobi smacked the back of Sasori's head and Sasori rubbed his head to make the pain wear off. Tobi massaged Deidara with strong fingers. "Oh gawd! I'm in heaven!" Deidara whined once again. Sasori shoulder bumped Tobi to mave out of the way. Tobi returned the favor. Both repeatedly bumped each other until Deidara's back was starting to hurt. "Ow! What are you doing back there,hmm!" Deidara yelled as he started to turn to see what the ruckuss was about. Sasori immediately ducked down. "What the hell are you doing to me,Tobi,hmm!" Deidara asked with a raging look on his face. "Sorry,sir! You enjoyed it right? I'll continue it for you!" Tobi stammered. Deidara glared at him for a minute. "Make sure you get my shoulder blade. It aches like hell!" Deidara requested as he turned his back on Tobi. Tobi continued his massage as he grinned at Sasori.  
Tobi's points- 2 Sasori's points- 1  
"I want a snack! Itachi!" Deidara yelled for his servant. Itachi enetered his office. "The usual. Now, get out of my face!" Deidara yelled. Itachi bowed and left. Sasori stopped Itachi from going down. "I'll do it. Special request from the boss." Sasori winked. Sasori went down and cooked a big feast of bakudon. When Sasori went back up with a big tray he handed it to Itachi. Itachi re-enetered Deidara's office. "It's about-" Deidara was cut mid-sentence by awe. "A BAKUDON FEAST!" Deidara yelled while licking his lips. He dug in. "Why am an expert only in food? Oh well, at least I won a point!" Sasori sighed and was shocked because... he was out of ideas.  
Tobi's points- 2 Sasori's points- 2  
"Who will break the tie?" Sasori asked Tobi. "Of course it will be me! ... If I had an idea." Tobi sighed. "What are you two doing? GET BACK TO WORK!" Deidara yelled. Tobi left. Sasori just stared at Deidara as he left. "What are you still doing there? I said go back to-" Deidara was once again cut mid-sentence because of Sasori's yell. "SIR!" Sasori warned. Deidara wasn't watching his step. Deidara slipped on the wet floor. Deidara's head almost met with the floor but two strong arms caught him in time. Everyone gasped. "Are you okay?" Sasori asked. "I am fine... Thank you-" Deidara didn't finish because Sasori made his lips meet Deidara's. Deidara's eyes was wide with shock then he closed them and kissed back. "This is... WRONG!" Deidara yelled as he pushed Sasori away. "THANK YOU AND GET BACK TO WORK!" Deidara yelled as he slammed his door. "I ... KISSED HIM!' Sasori yelled with glee. And secretly, Tobi was grudging and gritting his teeth together. 'Guess who wins now Tobi?' Sasori thought as he returned back to his table with a smile on his face.  
SASORI WINS!... for now.


	6. Me and U IN HELL

Chapter 6: Me and U...in hell!

Taking a deep breath, Deidara let all the cool air seep in. "That hit the spot!" Deidara sighed as he sank into his chair.

-

"IT'S FREAKING HOT!" Hidan yelled pulling out his hair. Sasori was fanning himself with a fan. Suddenly, his fan was on fire and burnt to ashes. Sasori didn't care because he was trying to find a stronger source of cool. "There is nothing we could do about it..." Sasori panted. Deidara slammed open his door. His cool air from his Aircon flooded into the whole office. Everyone sighed in relaxation as the air went through their hair. "HEY! TOBI!" Deidara called his secretary. Tobi ran to the side of his boss. "Yes? What can I accomplish for you?" Tobi asked. "Get the electric fan in the attic. Bring it for these peasants!" Deidara instructed and went back to his cooled office. Tobias brought back an electric fan. The disadvantage of this whole situation is... It's a mini fan. Everyone crowded around the fan. Hidan tried butting himself into the crowd but failed. Hidan was so hot and mad that he dashed for the crowd and head-butted all of them. "Ahhhhhh~!" Hidan sighed in relief. "This will take a while..." Sasori sighed as he wiped off the sweat on his forehead.

-

"Bye!" Pain waved goodbye. Sasori was the last one to leave for the night. He sighed and got his jacket and left the building. He waited for a bus at the bus stop. He noticed something that made his heart stop in an instant. "Sir~!" Sasori whined with glee as he saw Deidara sitting on a fixed his hair and took a deep breath. He went over to Deidara. Deidara looked up from his spot. "Oh,It's you..." Deidara muttered. Sasori sat beside Deidara. "How are you doing?" Sasori asked out of the blue. "Nothi'n ya need to know..." Deidara answered not shifting his gaze from the ground. Silence. "I need to go..." Deidara strictly said as he stood up. Sasori stood up too. "Me too..." 'Tell him! You need to tell him!' Sasori placed a palm on Deidara's shoulder. "What?" Deidara questioned not turning to face Sasori. "Are you free tomorrow?If you are... I want you to go to this restaurant I know-" Sasori was cut mid-sentence because Deidara smacked his lips together with Sasori's. Sasori was confused but went with the flow. Their lips parted. "I think that answers your question. If it doesn't, it's yes,Baka!" Deidara yelled with his strict voice but with a smile this time. Deidara looked at Sasori one more time and went into his bus. "Yes!"Sasori cheered and jumped. "I got myself a date with boss! I got myself a date with boss! Oh no! I got myself a date with boss!" Sasori panicked. What will happen in a date? Love and sweetness, of course~! What will happen in a date with Deidara! Disaster and chaos!

-

Sasori waited at the same place he asked boss to go out with him. "Oi! Puppet boy!" A voice yelled out to him. Sasori shifted his gaze to the source of the sudden call. Deidara came running to him. Deidara wore a t-shirt. It's left side limp until half of the top of the shoulder. He wore worn out pants. It had a hole on the right knee. He wore red sneakers with a star on the opposite sides. His hair wasn't in his regular style. It was just flowing and following the rythme of the breeze. All those things I said can narrow down to one sentence- Deidara was gorgeous~! "Where's this restaurant you are so frazzled about?" Deidara asked. Sasori was just staring with awe at Deidara and stood stiff. "Oi! Puppet boy!" Deidara yelled and snapped his fingers in the face of Sasori. Sasori didn't move. Deidara did anything that everyone wouldn't do, Deidara punched Sasori in the face. "Ow..." Sasori winced. "Let's get going!" Deidara yelled. Sasori led Deidara to the place he promised. They sat at their table. After they ordered, none of them seemed brave enough to talk. Deidara fiddled with the table cloth with his finger and twisted his hair with the other. Sasori just stared at the beauty that sat befor him. Two wires that were disconnected in his head were limp. 'What do I suppose I do!' Sasori thought. Then suddenly, the wires connected to each other and Sasori suddenly blurted out," You look beautiful,today.". Deidara looked dumb-founded at Sasori. Deidara's face didn't read Why-thank-you, It read WHAT-THE-HE'LL-DID-YOU-SAY! Sasori was sweating non-stop. Deidara eye-twitched and said, "Whatever.". Sasori hung his head low. "But thank you..." Deidara pouted. Sasori's head whirled at Deidara's direction. "Like I said, I may be a cranky boss but I still have manners." Deidara smiled. The food finally came. Deidara munched away. "Wow! This is amazing!" Deidara cheered with food in his mouth. Sasori just smiled. "I'm so glad I fell in love with this man. Being in love with a cranky boss is a love challenge for me." Sasori whispered. After they ate, they left and Deidara brought home a muffin. (YAY! MUFFIN AGAIN!^^) They passed by an arcade. "Wait!"Deidara halted in front of the crane. "That looks so cute!" Deidara yelled out as he pointed to a small pink bunny with buttons for it's eyes. Yes, the bunny was adorable! It had a top hat and a neck-tie on it's neck. And it wore a cute smile on it's face. "Too bad. I can't catch things like that in this crane..." Deidara sighed and looked kinda pissed. Sasori stared at the convertible and took out his wallet and placed a coin into the slot. He whipped the claw to all direction and finally on top og the bunny. He closed his eyes with his hand and pushed the catch button. He waited for the swearing words to come out of Deidara's mouth. None, just squeals! "YOU CAUGHT IT!" Deidara yelled with joy and snuggled his new found plushie. Sasori sighed in relief and signaled that it was time to go. Deidara didn't move. He pushed his glasses into position and took out a coin from his pocket and played the crane. After a few minutes, "There you! A thank you is needed,puppet boy!" Deidara yelled and handed Sasori a dog-plushie. It had the same features of the bunny Deidara has. "I...don't know what to say." Sasori stammered. Actually, he had a lot of words to say. "No need to! It just a simple-" Deidara was cut mid-sentence by a kiss from Sasori. "Thank you." Sasori whispered as their lips parted. "You know... we keep on kissing each other. Isn't that what lovers do?" Deidara stammered. "Awww~! They are lovers already~!" A voice purred from a distance. The two "Lovers" turned to see the source of the voice. Hidan and Pain were behind a trash bin. "YOU TWO!" Deidara yelled. "How long have you been stalking us!" Sasori questioned. "The whole time!" Hidan yelled. Deidara's background was up in flames. "You guys are so dead..." Sasori sighed as he face-palmed.

"BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


	7. Is it U or Me? Or is it U and Me?

Chapter 7: Is it U or Me? Or is it U and Me?  
"YOSH! Hey, sorry about yesterday!" Hidan greeted Sasori as he entered the building. "It's okay…" Sasori sighed. Sasori didn't want to talk right now. He was thinking if Deidara was okay. Yesterday, he was really furious about the stalking subject and he stormed off after he beat Hidan and Pain into a pulp. "What's worse was, he left his bunny…" Sasori mourned as he gazed at the bunny on his hand. He set his things on his table and got ready for work. "Hey." A voice whispered. Sasori rotated his chair and found Deidara. "I want you to go into my office…. NOW!" Deidara instructed and started walking to his office. Sasori stood up and followed. "Oh, and bring the bunny…" Deidara said not shifting his gaze from north. Sasori ran back to his table and snatched up the plushie. After the two entered the office, silence fell upon them. "Sorry about my friends…. They are really like that." Sasori smiled. "Here." Sasori placed the bunny into Deidara's hand. "Thanks." Deidara smiled while blushing. "I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!" Both said at the same time. Both stared at each other with confused eyes. "Listen. I suggest you go first." Deidara offered. "No. You!" Sasori stammered. "Together!" Deidara yelled. 1…2..3! "I LOVE YOU!" Both yelled at each other. Sasori was shocked. "Yeah… I love you. Ever since you entered my office. Your looks shot my head and the bullet isn't leaving. I like you, so what?" Deidara blushed while pouting. "I'm…. SO HAPPY!" Sasori yelled and hugged his boss. Deidara was blushing scarlet. Sasori smacked his lips together with Deidara's. "Is it you and me from now on?" Sasori asked after pulling away from the kiss. "Yes, YES!" Deidara yelled and hugged Sasori. "AWWWWW~!" Deidara and Sasori faced all the employers who were at the window and at the door. "Oh no…." Sasori face-palmed.

"GET BACK TO WORK,IDIOTS!"


	8. Promise me, forever

Chapter 8  
Deidara was asleep in his office. Hidan was typing a new manuscript. Pain was talking to Konan. Sasori was boasting away to Tobi about Deidara is his new lover. Nothing much to do there. Deidara woke up and wiped away the sleepiness from his eyes. He looked out his window and saw small droplets on it. "A storm is coming." Deidara thought. Deidara went outside of his office. "Everyone. You can go home. There is a storm coming." Deidara announced. "Boss became so calm after Sasori's confession-" Hidan trailed off. "GO HOME OR I'LL BECOME MORE PISSED!" Deidara yelled. "Maybe not…" Hidan sighed and got ready to leave.

Sasori went outside of the building and decided to walk home. As he walked, he saw Deidara all wet, crouched down low on the ground in the park. "DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled and ran to Deidara. "There, there…" Deidara whispered. He was stroking a wet kitten. It was black as the night. "You're all wet!" Sasori explained. "Don't mind me, puppet boy! I'm fine." Deidara said and started walking. "No it's not okay!" Sasori yelled and started taking off his shirt. "No it is oka- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Deidara yelled while blushing madly. "This will cover you up!" Sasori said as he placed the shirt on the top of Deidara's damp hair. Sasori, thankfully, wore another shirt under his uniform. "Hmph." Deidara pouted as both of them started walking home. "Listen. I have something important to tell you." Sasori said. "Yes?" Deidara questioned. "I know that you have a mental problem." Sasori said straight. "What? YOU KNOW!" Deidara yelled and Sasori thought he saw the cat close its ears with its paws. "Hidan also knew-" Sasori trailed off. "So now you know ,you told everyone else!" Deidara yelled , tears stinging his eyes. "No, Hidan knew first…" Sasori was cut mid-sentence because Deidara slapped Sasori in the face. Sasori was struck by shock. "Everything you say. Is a lie to me." Deidara stated with tears rolling down his cheeks. Deidara left Sasori on the floor. What's worse in this situation to Sasori is, Deidara took his uniform.

"I have to find him." Sasori said. Sasori found Deidara still walking to his house. "DEIDARA!" Sasori called out. Deidara turned and ran faster. Sasori ran after him. Deidara turned into the forest and ran faster. "DEIDARA! YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE! IT'S NIGHT AND IT WILL BE HARD TO SEE!" Sasori yelled at Deidara as he dashed through the trees. "NEVER! UNLESS YOU STOP CHASING-" Deidara didn't continue his sentence, all of a sudden. "Deidara?" Sasori called. No answer. "DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled as he ran faster. Sasori kept on running. He halted by a cliff. "SA-SASORI!" A voice called out. Sasori looked down from the cliff. Deidara was holding on a branch. "DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled as he offered his hand to Deidara. "I can't!" Deidara yelled. "Sasori…. I'm scared." Deidara cried. Tears were falling down Deidara's already wet cheeks. Sasori smiled and offered his hand again. "Don't be scared. I'm here." Sasori whispered. Deidara stared at Sasori and smiled. Deidara reached for Sasori's arm and finally got hold of it. Sasori pulled Deidara up until Deidara was safely on the cliff. "There. Safe and Sou-" Sasori was cut mid-sentence because Deidara was hugging him tight. "Don't leave me." Deidara cried as he hugged tighter. Sasori looked at Deidara and stroked his damp hair. "I won't. I will never." Sasori whispered. "C'mon. Let's get you home." Sasori whispered and stood Deidara up. When they finally arrived at Deidara's house, Sasori offered to open the door for Deidara. Deidara nodded. Sasori was in the moment that he forgot the evil that lurk inside Deidara's house. (If you don't know what that means, refer to chapter 3.)  
"GIVE US THE BLONDE OR YOU WILL BE SENTENCED!" "What the-" "SASORI!" "DEIDARA!" "THEY'RE TAKING ME!" "WHOSE TAKING YOU!" "THE SCIENTISTS!" "!" "HELP ME SASORI! Help me…"

"GIVE HIM BACK!" Sasori yelled from outside the building where they held Deidara captive. "Why should we?" A voice from a speaker asked. "YOU BETTER F***ING GIVE HIM BACK OR I'LL KILL YOU!" Sasori yelled. "No can do, bud. Captain's orders." The voice said. Sasori punched the speaker and it broke. "He's gonna kill you…." Deidara muttered from inside his cell. "WHO SAID YOU CAN TALK!" a man yelled at Deidara. "Don't yell at the prisoner." A voice ordered. "Sorry,Captain." The man apologized. "We just need to do some "TESTS" on you again." The so called "captain" said to Deidara as he placed the tip of his blade on Deidara's chin and caused a scar to appear on Deidara's chin. "I don't want to be your lab rat anymore, Sasuke." Deidara finally cussed out the name of the head of the scientists. "We will see about that…" Sasuke whispered and left with his boots thumping echo bouncing through the walls.

"1…2..3!" Sasori counted as he clashed his body with the gate trying to break it open. "It's no use. I can't open it…" Sasori sobbed as he gave up. "ALONE,YOU CAN'T!" A familiar voice yelled. Sasori turned to see who that was. Hidan,Pain, Konan, even Naruto and all the other employees came to save their beloved boss. "He maybe a pain, but we all love our boss!" Hidan explained. "Yeah! Together now!" Sasori instructed. All of them clashed with the gate at the count of 3. The gate opened. Everyone ran inside."EMERGNECY! INTRUDERS HAVE ENTERED THE GATES! I REPEAT, INTURDERS HAVE ENTERED THE GATES!" A voice yelled from every direction. "Are you ready to battle a bunch of brutal guards?" Sasori asked. "Are you kidding? WE WERE ALL BORN F***ING READY!" Hidan yelled. At that moment, a thousand guards came running out the building. Sasori dashed through the crowd of guards and started punching and kicking them all. After a fierce battle, almost everyone was defeated. "Sasori! There's no more time! Go! Leave this to us!" Tobi yelled out. "Really? I can't leave you guys fighting these guys! You might die!" Sasori explained. Tobi threw a strong piece of wood at Sasori. Sasori caught it. "I know you and I fought in the past over Deidara. That is behind me for now, all I care for now is Deidara's safety. He needs you, Sasori… more than you need him…" Tobi said as he stared at Sasori. Sasori stared at Tobi and smiled. "Now go! Deidara needs you!" Tobi yelled as he fought off a guard that came running to him. Sasori nodded and ran inside.

"HAND OVER,DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled as he slammed open the door to the testing room. "You came…" A voice taunted. "Sasuke…." Sasori growled. "Came to watch, Sasori?" Sasuke asked while grinning. Sasori turned to see Deidara in an empty room through the glass. "DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled. "He can't hear you…" Sasuke whispered. "DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled once again. Deidara just sat there. "Just sit back and relax, Sasori." Sasuke said and pushed a button. An eerie noise that can hurt your ears was heard from inside the room Deidara was imprisoned in. Deidara pulled his hair and covered his ears and screamed. Deidara crashed his head on the wall countless of times until blood dripped from his head. "STOP IT!" Sasori yelled as he shut his eyes close. "DEIDARA! DON'T DO THIS! I LOVE YOU! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE, SO PLEASE, STOP!" Sasori yelled. "Please, come back to me,Deidara..." Sasori whispered as tears started flowing out of his eyes. Deidara had no control over his body and mind. "DEIDARA! DON'T DO THIS! I LOVE YOU! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!" Sasori's voice echoed inside Deidara's head. "I love you." "Don't be scared. I'm here." "I won't. I will never leave you." Sasori's voice was the key. Deidara stopped automatically. "Sa-so-ri?" Deidara whimpered. "What the-!" Sasuke stammered. "DEIDARA!" Sasori yelled. Deidara smiled and fell to the floor. Sasori broke open the glass with the wood that Tobi offered him earlier. He placed Deidara on his lap. "Are you okay?" Sasori asked. "I am fine because I know you will never leave me…" Deidara whispered. Sasuke wasn't done. Sasuke took out a gun and aimed it at Sasori. "YOU'RE FINSHED!" Sasuke yelled. Sasuke almost pulled the trigger when suddenly, a gun- shot was heard. Sasori thought he was dead but he was still breathing. Sasori saw Sasuke dropping to the floor. Behind Sasuke was Itachi. Itachi had a gun in hand. Sasori stared at Itachi. "I really hated him anyway." Itachi shrugged. Sasori laughed. Sasori carried Deidara outside of the building. All the employees were there. They all cheered when they saw Sasori and Deidara. "That's my boy!" Hidan proudly yelled. "Deidara…" Sasori whispered. "Shush! Let me do the talking." Deidara whispered back as he kissed Sasori in the lips. "YAY! Were all happy, right?" Hidan asked. Then a man came out of the building and he had chains on his arms. He was stitched up everywhere. His mouth was stitched close, as well. "Can someone be so kind as to break this chains?" He asked. Hidan went up to him and broke them for him. The elder man hugged him. "THANK YOU! My name is Kakuzu!" The man introduced. "I'm Hi-dan…" Hidan blushed. Sasori gave Hidan the thumbs up. Hidan looked furiously at Sasori while blushing. "I love you. And promise me you won't leave me." Deidara smiled. "Didn't I already promised you I won't leave you?" Sasori asked. "I want you to promise again…" Deidara said. "Fine." Sasori smiled.

"I promise I won't leave you. Ever."


End file.
